The Road to Success

. . . is not paved with stupidity. After years of turning out inferior product, US automakers are moving towards turning out useless products. In the midst of massive government bailout, while executives are being forced out by higher powers, somebody is still forging boldly ahead with sheer idiocy. Back at the end of last year, Ford introduced self-parking vehicles as the concept that would bring buyers to their dealerships. Yeah, that didn't really work so much for Lexus. Honestly, if you have a hard time determining if you car will fit in a spot or trouble parking it on your own (or you are prone to getting locked in) you probably should be driving anyways. Another gem from the above article:

In 2007, the company began offering an in-car entertainment system developed with Microsoft Corp., called Sync, which drivers can use to control their phone, stereo and iPod through voice commands. Ford is hoping such innovations will "make us cool in the customers' minds," Mr. Fields said.

John Casesa, managing partner at the New York consulting firm Casesa Shapiro Group LLC, said it is unclear how many customers will want the new Active Park Assist feature. "In terms of technology, the automatic parking wasn't very successful at Lexus," Mr. Casesa said. "I think the better example is Sync because it worked as promised and it's priced right."

Picking this one apart really isn't too difficult. First off, you are offering up amenities that really have nothing to do with the main purpose of your product. Does the American driver really need another distraction to make them even more frightening behind the wheel? Secondly, do you really want 'no, no, really, we made something and it actually worked' to be your selling point?

Yesterday, it was announced that GM was teaming up with the makers of the Segway to make a vehicle. This vehicle will be called PUMA which stands for Probably Useless in the Majority of Applications. Oh, sorry, it stands for Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility.


I can only hope this was a late April Fools joke. Who in their right mind would ever let this out of a meeting room and into the public realm? According to the article, "GM and Segway say the vehicle could allow people to travel around cities more quickly, safely, quietly and cleanly, and at a lower total cost." The example below is a touch hyperbolic, but . . .


There are at least a handful of items in the picture that would provide significant challenge to the shell of the PUMA. I would be afraid of getting knocked over by a pedestrian rushing across a sidewalk.

The micro car concept isn't really a new one and it seems the the GM/Segway partnership would do nothing but make a very expensive, high tech micro car. The Peel P50 featured in the video above was essentially a 50cc scooter with a body. Maybe it is what we'd consider a retro look, given that the P50 was produced in 1962, but it has a much, much lower 'dork' factor than the PUMA. If this is the kind of stuff GM is going to come up with, maybe we should just cut them off and provide bailout to the former employees and suppliers.