My muse was the little innocuous bit in the center of the page, take a moment, zoom in for a closer look. I said to myself, "Self . . . you have to read that one." The more I read, the less I could believe that this was a true story. I checked the calendar and nope, nowhere near April Fool's. You don't have to read the article if you don't want to, but it is funny and the little puns and thinly veiled euphemisms were true genius. Here's the Chuck E. Cheese police blotter if you just want the summary:
As the holiday party season kicks into high gear, I am going to take some of these stories to heart. The next time somebody does anything to upset my balance of fun, it is on! If there are two things I enjoy they are 1) a celebration and 2) beating somebody down. There's nothing more festive than a donnybrook, a rumble, a scuffle, or a full on brawl.
I hope having an armed guard at these eatertainment venues cleans thing up. Speaking of, do you know how hard it would be to clean up when one of these guards unholsters his pistol and takes down an 8 year old in the ball pit? And how are the police supposed to draw the chalk outline on that one? None of this is really a laughing matter . . . oh wait, yes it is. Way to represent, Middle America, nice work. Sorry, it could happen anywhere, but it is a curious geographic spread.
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